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#TuesdayThoughts - Finding People Who Believe in You!

 

3.6-ThoughtfulTuesday - Tribe 

 

 

Finding your Tribe is the buzzwords these days and while I tend to resist anything that sounds "trendy," this resonates with me to the core!   

 

I mentioned on Monday that I had a challenging month and I would have never made it through without the support of my "Tribe."  

 

Despite their current challenges & busy busy lives, my fellow weirdos, took the time to text, call and even force me outside of my "cave" to make sure that I knew that they had faith in me.

 

Even if I fell...

 

They assured me that they would pick me up, dust me off and send me back on my way...

 

I would be nothing without them...

 

#FindYourTribe...and let them know how much you love & appreciate them...

 

3.6-#thoughtfultuesday.heart

 

#thoughtfultuesday #connect #findyourtribe 

 

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#MotivationMonday - The One Who Will Love You The Most...

2.12-mondaymotivation.love oneself

 

Start this #weekoflove by focusing on WHO will love you the most!

 

I commit to: 

 

 

NOURISHING my body, mind & soul with the right things at the right time...

 

NURTURING my talents and gifts so they'll reach their full potential...

 

 ACHIEVING the things that I need & want in my life.  And, be perfectly ok if those things change...

 

CONNECTING with myself and the Universe to keep me grounded, grateful and generous...

 

#Love #Happiness #LetsGo 

 

 2.12-Heart for Blog - Motivation.Monday

 

 

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#FurBabyFriday - Look At ME!

2.9-furbabyfriday-empress mimi
Showing her displeasure because she doesn’t understand why I would post pictures of the dogs instead of focusing on just her. Of course, extra food would make up for that. #mimi #catsofinstagram #catsrule #furbabyfriday #connect
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#TuesdayTip - Turning Things That Are Troubling You Into Opportunities

1.30-TuesdayTips-Tolerance
Great #meditation today! Helping me turn the things that are troubling me into an opportunity to strengthen my tolerance and practice compassion....#namaste #dailycalm #tuesdaytip
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Happy #MotivationMonday! - #Connect!

1.22-MotivationMonday - Connection.jp
Happy Monday! I'm a #TypeA kind of person who's really trying to be a more #TypeZen. I have too much on my plate (self-inflicted) but I'm getting it all done! However, I feel isolated. This weekend, I pushed my studying aside and made time for my guy, and had some GNOs. I caught up with my friends (as well as making a new friend!). I haven't realize how important #connection is for my well-being. Today, I have a spring in my step and I feel complete and ready to go again. Which is a good thing because my next chapter has over 75 pages in it! Reach out a friend and #feedyoursoul .
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#Travel #Thursday - #Chihuly Gardens And Glass Museum

1.11-Travel Thursday - chihuly gardens
Happy #travel #thursday ! This is an oldie but goodie and taken when we were in #seattle. #chihulygardensandglassmuseum is the place to visit when you want see and experience #beauty.
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#ThoughtfulTuesday! - USING DAILY HABITS TO CHANGE

 

 

1.9-ThoughtfulTuesday - Daily Habits.jpg

 

It’s #ThoughtfulTuesday and as promised, I’m sharing my Daily Habits that I created for 2018.  We all know that it’s not enough to say you want to change, it’s the actions that we do faithfully that will “transform” us in the people we want to be.

 

I’m starting an intensive Functional Medicine program in February as well as finishing up my Personal Training Credentials.  I feel like I’ve been only focusing on those things and at the end of the year, I was burnt out and feeling very disconnected.

 

My 2018 Intentions includes more Nurturing and Connecting!  And while this looks like a lot of work, it really wasn’t…Each item took no more than 5-10 minutes (except for the sleep part) and it made me feel accomplished and good at the end of the day!

 

I used an Excel Spreadsheet to track it and my hope is that I can work on it every day and see how I do.  I don’t expect perfection but at least I have something to work up to.  

 

What’s on your list?  Please share and let’s support each other in being the best that we can be!

 

 

 

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Happy Dia de Los Muertos...



10.31-diadelosmuertos




Today is Halloween but some may also know that it’s also Dia de Los Muertos…aka Day of The Dead.  This holiday honors and remembers friends and family members who have passed.

 

My mom passed away over 3 years ago and there isn’t a day that goes by that I wish I could talk to her. 

Which is really ironic…when she was alive, it was always such an effort to make time to see her.  Between being a busy single mom and a traveling consultant, I would often have to reschedule our time together.  Many times, I’d want to cancel but she ‘d always accommodate me and move her schedule around so we could meet up.  We'd often have coffee in her back patio where she would point out each butterfly.  She’d always know when I was struggling and say the right words to get me back on track.

 

What I would give to have that time back. 

I’d tell her about how overwhelming it was to change careers and start on a new path. 

I’d compliment her on how she ran a household and a preschool all at the same time and still manage to always be stylish and put together. 

I’d ask her how she dealt with a snarky teenager who mood swings are like our SoCal weather…beautiful, one day…foggy and grim the next.

 

Last week, as I was recovering from a bad head cold and contemplating “chucking it all” and going back to my comfortable corporate life, I got little signs of encouragement from my mother. 

A butterfly outside the window. 

A necklace that she ceremoniously gave me when I adopted my little one suddenly appeared. 

A picture of the two of us on Halloween dropped out of the bookshelf. 

10.29-Me and mom - halloween pic



Even Facebook got involved…in my memories, it highlighted the time we celebrated a milestone at her favorite restaurant. 

Despite my mom passing, her presence is always felt. 

 

Several things to take away from this:
 

-What goes around, comes around… I now always accommodate my busy daughter’s schedule so we can have that quality time

 

-You can never outrun your mother…she’ll always find you!

 

-In times of need, your loved one will always be there…

 

Happy Dia de Los Muertos, Mom

10.31-Day of the Dead Blog Post

 

 

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CONNECTION:  Before You Hit That UnFriend Button...

 
9.18-Connect- Unfriend

 

I love Facebook. 

Since I work at home and on my own, I usually feel a little isolated at times and consistently take breaks.  So, while I sip on my coffee, I go over and check out to see what my FB friends are doing.

 

It’s fun to check in on friends to see what they’re eating, what they’re doing and how they’re feeling. And the vacation pictures help remind me why I’m working so hard.  (You work to go on vacation too, right?) 
 

But lately, I’ve been hesitant to log on…

 

We’re living in such a different time now…

 

I don’t know about you, but my heart sinks when I read my Facebook Feeds these days.   There seems to be a lot of anger & confusion.  I understand the passion behind the different opinions but I don’t understand how it’s turned into threads of personal attacks and name-calling. Lately, I’ve shut my computer in disgust.

 

My teenager has the perfect solution for me.

 

“Look at this, Mom…you can just delete that person and never have to hear from them again.”

 

That is an easy solution, right?

 

But, I’m torn.

 

I’ve always been pretty selective about who I’m Facebook Friends with and I’ve made it a point to only connect with people that I really like and when there's a nice connection. 

 

I never felt that I always had to agree with all my friends.  In fact, I’m attracted to people who are NOT like me because it helps me grow as a person.

 

And, I believe this is reciprocal.  I am lucky… despite my irritating and quirky ways, my Facebook friends have always shown their support whether they agree with me or not.

 

Friends do that for each other.   We’re in each other’s corners and support each other as much as we can.  Even when we don’t understand or agree with a differing opinion.

 

So, I will be not taking my daughter’s advice...I won’t be “unfriending” anyone just because they don't share my views.

 

However, there is a caveat...

 

If I see personal insults and name calling when there’s disagreement on my threads, I will directly reach out to that person and call them on it…not on their opinion but the way they’re expressing their opinion.   If it’s in the heat of the moment and there’s an apology, then we both will move past it. 

 

Because that’s what true friends do.  We accept each other for who we are and work through disagreements.   

 

What if that person is insistent on expressing their views with disrespect to the opposing side on my page?  Then my decision becomes very clear and easy.  I'm pressing the Unfriend and Block button.     

After all, who needs that negativity in their lives?

 

Life is way too short…especially when there are puppies involved…

I'd love to know what you think...



 
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CONNECT: Happily Ever After….and then some….


4.17-Blog - Connect



My guy and I just celebrated 8 years together!  However, our “meet cute” story was certainly not so cute and nothing like I had imagined it would be. 

 We met at a Brunch Meetup.  At that time of my life, I was happily “playing the field” as well as traveling a lot for work.  I’m not sure why but I was a Dude Magnet during that time...(Who knew that traveling cross country and surviving on 6 hours of sleep would do wonderful things with my personality and complexion?)  I embraced my “magnetism” and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  All the guys at the table were bending over backwards to make sure I was comfortable and my champagne glass was full. 

Except for the guy across me with the striking blue eyes.

 
My boss had recently raved about the “Eric” omelet (apparently, he was at this restaurant so much they made this special dish for him) and knowing I was a fellow foodie, strongly urged me to “drop his name” and they would make it for me… which of course, I did.
 

“WHO ARE YOU?  Why do you think you’re so special?  Do you think you’re a celebrity or something?”

 I was taken aback.  I never thought I was better than anyone else and the accusation stung.  I immediately went into a long detailed explanation about my boss and his omelet. 

CHIRP…Chirp…chirp… 

What a GREAT first impression that was…

 
We got our food…

 
“That looks interesting…can I have a bite of that?”
 

“Ummmm…..are you talking to me?  The “celebrity?” 
4.17-baffled-emoticon.jpg 

“Yeah…your omelet looks good” 

 

I finally noticed the twinkle in his eye…

 
Fifteen minutes later…

 
“That omelet was really good…are you going to finish that?”

 
Eight years later, he’s still finishing up my food…

 
Who knew that I would end up with a Star Wars/Trek (is there REALLY a difference?...) Geek whose idea of a great weekend away is an isolated cabin with no good restaurants or museums and can happily spend hours and HOURS playing volleyball in the hot sun?


My past relationships were never like this.  Rather, it would be different versions of the “meet cute” and go through the customary dating period, moving in together and two times, making it legal.  And I’d be happy ever after…for a little bit. And then like my pup that doesn’t want to take a bath, I’d look for any and every way out.

 
But, not this relationship…even after eight years, I still feel giggly and mushy inside when his eyes twinkle at me.  He has my back and still makes me laugh all the time.   He’s “my person” and I want to be with him as well as find out more about him every year that we’re together. 

 
He also frustrates the heck out of me.  I’ve never had anyone press my buttons as much as he does.  It hasn’t been smooth sailing all the time.  I remember when we tried to break up with each other…

 

“Well, I guess we should call it.”

 

“Yeah…I’m going to miss you.”

 

“Oh, no…I’ll still be around…in fact, I think we should get together at least twice during the week and the whole weekend to spend time together.  After all, I might starve.”

 

“Hmmm…should we just not live together?”

 

“Well, yeah…but it would be weird not living with you.”

 

“I don’t think I’d like that either.”

 

“So, what’s the issue again?”

 

“I forgot…”

 

That next Spring, we got each other commitment rings from Tiffany’s.  And, we never had THAT conversation again.
 

There are so many variables why this relationship works when all my other relationships didn’t.  I could spend hours and hours disseminating every little detail with my girlfriends over brunch but I need to start packing for our special anniversary trip to Italy.  I’ll leave you with this…

 

Our Relationship is REAL…

 

From the very beginning, this relationship was real in every way.  He showed me who he was at the very beginning and I showed him who I was.  We certainly didn’t put our best foot forward and have always been honest and upfront with what works and what doesn’t.  I didn’t pretend to love our “weekend away,” in fact, we moved to a nicer place the next night.  He doesn’t pretend to enjoy my fascination with American Horror Story and Gilmore Girls. 

 

He also accepts the fact that I will usually look up the recap before I watch a movie or television show…(to my credit, I NEVER reveal the spoiler…) I accept the fact that he will urge me to stay up to watch that same television show and then immediately nod off within the first five minutes.   And we both happily admit that we would rather order food to be delivered instead of getting “presentable” to go out on a date.  (Thank you, Postmates and Amazon Video!)

 

For me, this is Nirvana.  I don’t have to pretend to be anyone that I’m not and there is no bubble bursting when I realize, in mock horror, he actually likes the Star Trek pajamas that I gave him as a joke and wears them regularly during our Postmates & Amazon Movie date.   

 

We Focus on The Big Picture…

 

One thing that I’ve learned while in this long-term relationship is that this is NOT Burger King.  Having it MY way or His way doesn’t work in the long term.  What DOES work is focusing on the big picture… here are our priorities….

 

Health - I tell him all the time, “We need to be able to ‘torture’ each other until we’re ‘old,’ so we have to take care of ourselves so we’ll be around.”    No more cookies for breakfast (damn those blood tests!) and gourmet dinners with all the fine wine.  And yes, we’ve now reached that point where we will talk about our ailments within the first five minutes of our conversation… SWELL…

 

Security - We don’t want to scramble financially in our twilight years so we need to live within our means NOW.  This means we don’t have a big house and unfortunately, cannot travel to every place on our bucket list.  Although, to be honest, I’m still working on the Hot Tub justification because I think it would also improve our Health…wouldn’t you agree?

 

Connection - I have to admit, this is our most challenging task.  Both of us are driven and we make ourselves so busy that it would be easy to just focus on our goals.  But, we’ve made a pact…Time in the morning with our coffee and some snuggling at night. 

 

“I love you sweetie pie….”
 

“Yes, we're on Good Terms."
 
“Seriously?”

“What I really meant was I love you too...Sweet Dreams...”

 

We Learn Together

 

I will be 55 years old in a week.  I’ve been around the block (several times) and I know stuff.  My guy just turned 50 last month.  This isn’t his first rodeo…he knows stuff.  We both know stuff.  And, the most important thing is we both know that sometimes, we don’t know anything and we will never know everything.

 

And honestly, this is what keeps us going.   

 

“Why is the teen (aka Darth) so grumpy in the morning?  I’m trying to have a conversation with her and she seems like she’s mad?”

 

“Try asking her about what music she’s listening these days…”

 

“Wow…it worked!  I actually got four words this morning…I like this song.” 

(TINY, Tiny, tiny steps...)

 
I’m also always amazed how much I learn from My Guy.  Some stuff is quite humorous and does make me laugh out loud (usually, at his expense) and some stuff is quite valuable…although, I can be very reluctant to admit it to him face to face.  And, what’s really interesting is that I learn a lot about myself through his honest (and sometimes very blunt) observations and perceptions.  And believe me, this is reciprocated in our relationship.

 

This keeps us moving forward…

 

So, to My Guy…

 

Here’s to the life we built in the last eight years.   Our home, our community of friends, the Kid (now Teen) and our “Zoo.”  I will happily travel the world, taste the wines, dress up in elaborate costumes and even overcome my anxiety of zip lining with crazy Thai guides for you. .

 

Thank you for a fantabulous (MY word) eight years!   I look forward to more adventures and lessons and lots of laughter…




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